7-11 Tales, Vol. 69, by Steve Stav

My hearing has been okay since the implant worked itself out of my head (see old “blood streaming down face” story), but I have problems locating the source of sounds. And sometimes certain frequencies(?) don’t sound right.

Yesterday I was in line at the 7-11, and I thought I heard a crying baby some feet behind me. But the voice sounded strange. Tinny. Electronic. And it kept going on and on. I thought, “Holy shit, some gal has brought her baby monitor on a run for Schlitz and smokes.”

OMG, that’s it. Could it be? I was afraid to turn around. The tinny crying sound continued. I’m thinking, “Man, this is Arlington for you.” I’m imagining a flip-flopped, tube-topped gal with a cell phone tucked between her new mom-boobs, an old baby monitor in her open purse as she juggles a half-rack, a burrito and some overpriced Doritos. No real hurry, though, as screaming child is only 8 blocks away.

Finally, I can’t take it, and I turned around slowly. It WAS a baby. A real, crying baby. And mom was a bit sketchy, but no Schlitz. They don’t have shopping carts at 7-11.

Steve Stav