Eat Your Heart Out Ben Franklin, by Davin Michael Stedman

Oh this is dumb. But I want to know how dumb it is. Can you water proof regular cordless headphones? Probably not. I am betting 3 to 1 odds against me.

None of the headphones for swimming are really suitable for a myriad of reasons, including the fact that bluetooth is trash when it comes to penetrating over a inch of water.

But at a certain point, sometimes you just say I am seran wrapping and taping up this pig and seeing what happens.

Pro? If I can listen to playlists while swimming I can swim and hour at a ferocious clip. I can burn nearly a 1000 calories. I would swim every damn day. I’ll lose all the weight I want to lose with a decent diet.

Without them I can consistently swim 30 minutes until boredom overcomes the joy of meditation. I’ll plateau. This is a decent place to plateau.

…and there is no risk of electrocution. Just the Con: a risk of ruining these cheap headphones I actually prefer over much more expensive models.

If I can reach that next level of fitness this year…well that would be fooookin’ pretty neat.

The probability is that I’ll gain the weight back and then some. The human body seems to be evolved to gain as much weight as possible and remember how much you lost. Skinny people with fast metabolism are favored by this brief moment in history before an inevitable collapse which leave us once again scavenging for food, surviving on a slow metabolism and our cunning.

But until then selfie sticks and sweet killer abs. Yay.

But the war is on. McGyver would not be that impressed, unless this works. But this is more of a McGruber move.

Well I don’t care if I ruin these headphones tonight. I just swam 45 minutes to a mix of rock & piano masterpieces like I was slicing butter through space & time.

I had many great reflections. Many on the the power we all have if we just find our own way.

We can emulate but ultimately if you want to hear great music while you are swimming, you can order something off Amazon or you can seran wrap your favorite cheap headphones that out preformed your more expensive pairs. Because it is kind of dumb, unless it works.

Because no earbud headphones sound this good this Christmas.

It’s not just about these headphones. It’s about Jamaica and The UK, and what happens when I wrap my whole silly little life up for a while, and risk it all to chase something that is there, or isn’t, or isn’t anymore.

I kind of revel in how broken Music as an industry is today. When the Times got weird…I got drafted.

“When will you realize Vienna waits for you”

I know exactly what I am doing. The only problem is whether what I am going to do is even possible beyond my imagination and borderline maniacal will. Like swimming with your favorite bluetooth headphones.

But I will tell you this, listening to great music booming in hi fidelity while swimming is absolutely trancendant.

In the last year I began cooking and doing normal adult-ish things, slowly redefining my Peter Pan existence. I have taken control of my life, as of late, as I typically would done when I was half my age, but demurred,

“Nah, I am going to be a Rock & Roll singer”

Thus on many occasions as of late, I thought,

“Why was I not doing this before?”

I get the fact I should have been baking fish for myself for the last 20 fooking years, but it is rather the modern engineering wonder of Bluetooth that allowed me to do something this out of pocket and awesome tonight.

My compatriots from halcyon days when The Staxx Brothers began are twisted and shouting inwardly their Apple Cup sarrows. But not me. One of the most powerful skills of which I am a Wizard is absorbing calculated losses as learning experiences, and knowing when a loss is not your own.

Hell I may have ruined my headphones but the best suggestion yet if I did is from Richie Audino, who suggested I perfect this idea with a Turkey bag. Hail the hive mind. And the value of sharing a good story which needs a little help with a great ending.

But the most trancendant thought I had during my first 45 minute swim tonight what something we have always known but don’t always remember to realize. Your thoughts are your own. They are maybe the most valuable thing you can ever own. So when you can’t control what and who dominates your thoughts you are much much poorer. Yes thoughts are powerful. Sure. Law of Attraction maybe. Or just don’t be a dick. And if you can’t help being a dick, be a great f☆cking dick.

Be a world class professional dick. Be the Dean Martin of f☆cking dicks.

But as a writer it’s a glorious battle. Orwell had much to say about it in his own book about writing, which we shall discuss sometime.

But as I listen to Solomon Burke’s ‘Can’t Nobody Love You’ and get ready for another 45 or maybe an hour, or maybe I swim all night till these batteries die, I wonder…

Now that I cracked this code. Now that I figured out how to actually look like a Rock Star and get a deal with the label I grew up dreaming about, and I have to show and prove all over again on more stages full of rooms where nobody really know me and says, “daaaaah vin”,

I wonder,

How good of shape can I get in if I listen start doing this 2 hours a day? 3 hours a day? How much swimming in a salt water pool and listening jams is more of a bad idea than a great idea?

Kenny Rodgers became a professional tennis player at his musical peak, but more on that later I have to go swim.

It’s probably not good for my ears. But it would be great for my soul and resting heart beat. And my next 100 songs.

And oh, if you are going try this, I recommend The Fruit of the Root Critical Mass CBD joint. Seriously, it’s also probably that.

Davin’s new song has become a global earworm and Caribbean dancehall hit. Listen here on Reggaeville: DAVIN MICHAEL STEDMAN & ANTHONY RED ROSE – FREE YOUR MIND FEAT. SLY & ROBBIE WITH LENKY MARSDEN. The video is now available on Youtube.

– Musician and writer Davin Michael Stedman has many ventures, such as the AMAZING blog, 100milesofmusic.com. In the spring of 2018 he spent weeks networking in and reporting from Kingston, Jamaica. He will return there soon for more recording. His single with British band Sherlock Soul is available here.