The Dead Kennedys Were Both Poignant and Prescient, By Mark Erickson

I am disappointed by President Obama’s forays in the Middle East, failure to close Guantanamo, and use of drone “missions” that create more hatred than peace. The following lyrics come from a Dead Kennedys song called “Kinky Sex Makes the World Go ‘Round,” which was part of the 1987 release, Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death. I think the song is both poignant and prescient.

Mark Erickson

Prime Minister’s office, Prime Minister speaking. Greetings?

This is the secretary of war

At the state department of the United States?

We have a problem, the companies want something done

About this sluggish world economic situation?

Profits have been running a little thin lately

And we, we need to stimulate some growth?

Now we know there’s an alarmingly high number of young people

Roaming around in your country with nothing to do

But stir up trouble for the police and damage private property It doesn’t look like they’ll ever get a job?

It’s about time we did something constructive with these people?

We’ve got thousands of ’em here too, they’re crawling all over

The companies think it’s time we all sit down

Have a serious get-together and start another war

The President, he loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro

Napalm, people running down the road, skin on fire

The Soviets seem up for it

The Kremlin’s been itching for the real thing for years

Wanna little going away present for [Incomprehensible]

Hell, Afghanistan’s no fun, so what do ya say? We don’t even have to win this war

We just want to cut down on some of this excess population?

Now look, just start up a draft

Draft as many of those people as you can

We’ll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on Give ’em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle

And send ’em on their way,

El Salvador, how ’bout Northern Ireland? Or a “moderately repressive regime” in South America?

We’ll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the middle east?

We need that oil, we had Libya all ready to go

And Colonel Khadafy’s hit squad didn’t even show up I tell ya, that man is unreliable

The Russians had their fingers on the button

Just like we did for that one?

Now just think for a minute, we can make this war so big, so big

The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper

We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue

If we plan this right

Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls

Now don’t worry about demonstrations, just pump up your drug supply

So many people have hooked themselves on heroin

And amphetamines since we took over, it’s just like Vietnam

We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong

Kept the war functioning just fine?

It’s easy, we’ve got our college kids so interested in beer

They don’t even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again

Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard They wouldn’t even know what it looked like

So how ’bout it?

I mean, look, war is money

The arms manufacturers tell me
Unless we get our bomb factories up to full production

The whole economy is going to collapse

The Soviets are in the same boat

We all agree the time has come for the big one

So what do ya say? [incomprehensible]

That’s excellent, we knew you’d agree

The companies will be very pleased