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On Friday night, December 22, I ventured one mile north from home and set foot once again in Darrell’s Tavern. At the invitation of Seattle’s infamous funny gal, Cathy Sorbo, I decided I’d go see the burlesque show she was hosting.
With my BGF in tow, a band was just finishing playing some Christmas tunes before Cathy Sorbo came on stage (wearing red one-piece jammies), to rile the crowd and introduce the next act. Said next act was a woman dressed in black fishnets and a green shiny leotard that looked like it was covered in seaweed. While a version of “I Put A Spell On You” played over the PA, she peeled off her accessories bit by bit, all to cheers of the enthusiastic crowd. Besides the witticisms of Sorbo being emcee, the various burlesque dancers had that touch of satire as they peeled off their colorful costumes piece by piece.
As we waited for the next act to get into costume, Sorbo entertained everyone with corny jokes like: “What do you call someone from Jamaica who follows Italian motor sport?” A Rasta Ferrarian. “What does Jeffrey Dahmer eat while hiking?” Entrails Mix. Meanwhile a woman clad in a red sequined leotard with a short turquoise blazer wandered about, bending over to pick things off the stage.
The band, whom Sorbo introduced as Maximus Christmas, returned to the stage. They all wore matching red sweaters with starched white shirts under and starched black trousers as they played Christmas song after Christmas song. They began with a lounge instrumental of “Little Drummer Boy,” which they introduced as a Joan Jett song. This abruptly changed into “White Christmas” — well, the words to “White Christmas” done to the music of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding.” I wondered why the Squirrels never thought of doing that. Another lounge instrumental followed “White Wedding Christmas,” but this time was Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Song. Even though no one in the band sang this song, I could hear scattered voices through the club sing the words, especially, “Me I want a Hula Hoop.” Alvin & the Chipmunks was followed by “Silver Bells” done to the tune of “Silver and Gold.” Next came the theme to The Grinch before the band left the stage, making way for another burlesque dancer. This one wandered on stage wrapped in a bulky, green bathrobe, which she immediately shed, revealing she was wearing nothing but large candy wrappers covering strategic parts of her body. She held aloft a candy box as she floated amongst audience members, sitting on their laps, and otherwise tantalizing them. Everyone happily played along while The Beatles’ “Savoy Truffle” played over the club’s sound system.
More Burlesque performers came out and did their thing including a woman dressed in a red dress with huge full skirt. She moved about with stiff, jerky motions like a badly animated doll as she systematically peeled off pieces of her elaborate costume.
The night finished with the band Maximus Christmas playing more Christmas tunes, the highlight of which was their cover of the Kinks’ “Father Christmas” and a great rendition of the Pogues’ “Fairy Tale of New York,” in which a female vocalist (who also played flute) was added. At intervals another female vocalist joined the band. Both female vocalists had voices so rich and succulent, listening to them was like Godiva chocolate for my ears.
Although this was an extremely entertaining evening, I couldn’t help wondering, why is it always women shedding their clothes? I wouldn’t have minded seeing a bloke or two on stage doing the same thing. The closest they came was the stage director who flitted about wearing black striped socks, a bikini thong and black and white girdle around his middle.
I’ve never been to a burlesque show and this one was a blast. The music was great, the show was well run and it was definitely never boring.
