This Too Shall Pass: 72 hours later, Aliens are Still Old News, by Davin Michael Stedman

If Extra Terrestrials took a knee during the National Anthem, maybe more Americans would care that the Department of Defense confirmed the existence of UFOs via The New York Times.

Redneck #1:

“You little f_ckers need to respect the f_cking flag. Our troops fought and died so you lazy sons of b_tches had something fun to watch from your weak ass looking ships. Interstellar my ass. My new Chevy Tahoe pick up looks better than your whole fleet. F_cking Foo Fighters.”

Redneck #2:

“Your space ships look weak. Have you seen the new Star Wars? All you do is zip around like a bunch of snowflakes. Did you base your design on dinner plates or to go boxes? Stand up and salute the flag or I am gonna’ boycott Papa Johns!”

I just want to hear what Mitch McConnell has to say about UFOs. I am not saying he’s an Alien but the Aliens might know what happened to his spine.

Oh hyper-news cycles. It’s no wonder we are so easily paralyzed. We could find out Jack The Ripper was none other than Pharrell Williams, the actively blood sucking vampire, and at this point, the NFL would still be our only official religion until after The Super Bowl.

Maybe aliens need to focus on a fresh hashtag.




Maybe they need better branding or more followers on instagram.

Washington Post reports we only give maybe two f_cks per thousand:

– Musician and writer Davin Michael Stedman has many musical ventures and is one of the driving forces behind the Staxx Brothers. He will be partying in Kingston, Jamaica soon.

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