Alabama? Secede? Really? By Davin Michael Stedman

Bam. Roll Tide.

All the people that want their states to secede should just move to Alabama and then we’ll let Alabama secede. Bam. Roll Tide! Thanks to a disastrous 2011 anti-immigration law, Alabama successfully rid itself of its migrant workforce. Thus with this influx of secessionists, Alabama will have all the hands it needs to pick the millions of dollars of fruit that’s been rotting on the vine.

…but if Alabama secedes, won’t these poor angry whites moving to the New Confederacy of Alabama, then be considered illegal migrant workers? Thinking is TOUGH!

Davin Michael Stedman